Possessiveness, what is possessiveness, personal boundaries and how much possessiveness is healthy.

Possessiveness, what is possessiveness, personal boundaries and how much possessiveness is healthy.

EVERY PERSON in this world at some point of his time gets too possessive or obsessed about some thing/ person. For instance, kids are so possessive that they will not allow others to play with their toys

Possessiveness, is a strange feeling which any normal person could get upon his/her partner. It is not necessary that this happens only for in life partner relationships, but this is possible even between friends, brother or sisters. First of all , possessiveness is not a problem to be looked at with a strict face. It is just a normal feeling which primarily arises out of insecurity. Any personal who is confident and got faith on their relationship would not feel insecure. On the other hand, a lot of people think that they might lose their loved once and try to take more control.
The cause of Possessiveness -
1. Insecurity

2. Lack of confidence or faith on partner
3. Jealousy
4. Lack of self confidence
2. Avoid feelings insecure and have more confidence on your partner and relationship
3. Be honest in your relationship
4. Remember possessiveness is just a feeling and not a disorder. It can be removed if u wish.
5. Ask your partner to give you  a reassurance of love. Make him understand and do something which keeps the faith and confidence intact in yourself.

 
By being possessive, you are trying to take away the freedom of that other person. This creates insecurity for the partner, which ends up in misunderstandings.So refrain from doing it if up do not want to lose your partener/friend.
 
Before possessiveness becomes an addiction, it should be suppressed. We should accept the truth that nothing in this world belongs to us. What did we bring to this world to take it back or own? Hence getting over attached to anything would lead to sadness, unhappiness and misery.
 
Although possessiveness has all the worst traits, it is a bit sweet that someone is so important to us. You get possessive on a guy/girl when you care and love him/her immensely!!! It’s just a feeling. If not controlled, it may ruin or spoil the relationship...or your equation with that particular person at the least….A relation does not involve ownership
. It requires partnership.2. Lack of confidence or faith on partner 
3. Jealousy 
4. Lack of self confidence
2. Avoid feelings insecure and have more confidence on your partner and relationship 
3. Be honest in your relationship 
4. Remember possessiveness is just a feeling and not a disorder. It can be removed if u wish. 
5. Ask your partner to give u a reassurance of love. Make him understand and do something which keeps the faith and confidence intact in yourself

Insecurity - The feeling of fear whether his/her partner would leave them for any reason is called insecurity. Everyone in this world feels insecure about something. In this case, it is their loved one's. The reason behind feeling insecure could also be reflected from the past that they had a bad relation or met an unfaithful person which made them carve their mind and mould it to have no faith on anyone else.
Lack of confidence or faith on partner- This situation might be as a result of the action of their partner. It can also be due to self centered quality of a person or due to the effect of very low self confidence.
Jealousy - This is often a term which is used as a substitute for possessiveness. But it is found to be true that both jealousy and possessiveness are tail tied. They dont have much difference at all. A feeling which makes a person think that their relationship is being threatened by a rival. This is very common in every human relationship.
Lack of self-confidence - The lack of feeling and strength in ones own heart can be a cause to find faults with others. Since the person is lacking confidence, faith level goes low and they start to try and take control over their partner in order to hold their relationship.
There is no believed solution to possessiveness. Since it is not a disease or disorder, it cant be removed completely. It is a feeling which needs extensive care and concentration to lower the level of possessiveness. Unless the person and his/her partner sit and talk about this openly there will be no end to it.

Some possible ways to solve this :
1. Find out the reasons to feel possessive about your partner

n a relationship, possessiveness usually starts out slow but then begins to overshadow a relationship. Relationships touched by possessiveness can be
 Suffocating, 
Binding 
and in some cases, Abusive.
 Possessiveness can lead to jealousy, which in turn, can lead to anger. Anger in an immature person or an abused victim can lead to physical outbursts and more abuse.

Possessiveness, is a strange feeling which any normal person could get upon his/her partner. It is not necessary that this happens only for in life partner relationships, but this is possible even between friends, brother or sisters. First of all , possessiveness is not a problem to be looked at with a strict face. It is just a normal feeling which primarily arises out of insecurity. Any personal who is confident and got faith on their relationship would not feel insecure. On the other hand, a lot of people think that they might lose their loved once and try to take more control.

The cause of Possessiveness -

1. Insecurity

 Insecurity - The feeling of fear whether his/her partner would leave them for   any reason is called insecurity. Everyone in this world feels insecure about something. In this case, it is their loved one's. The reason behind feeling insecure could also be reflected from the past that they had a bad relation or met an unfaithful person which made them carve their mind and mould it to have no faith on anyone else.
 Lack of confidence or faith on partner- This situation might be as a result of the action of their partner. It can also be due to self centered quality of a person or due to the effect of very low self confidence.
 Jealousy - This is often a term which is used as a substitute for possessiveness. But it is found to be true that both jealousy and possessiveness are tail tied. They dont have much difference at all. A feeling which makes a person think that their relationship is being threatened by a rival. This is very common in every human relationship.
Lack of self-confidence - The lack of feeling and strength in ones own heart can be a cause to find faults with others. Since the person is lacking confidence, faith level goes low and they start to try and take control over their partner in order to hold their relationship.
There is no believed solution to possessiveness. Since it is not a disease or disorder, it cant be removed completely. It is a feeling which needs extensive care and concentration to lower the level of possessiveness. Unless the person and his/her partner sit and talk about this openly there will be no end to it.

Some possible ways to solve this :
1. Find out the reasons to feel possessive about your partner

Can Communication resolve conflict?

Can Communication resolve conflict?

1. Off cource ,communication is a tool to understand and get understood completely through spoken & unspoken words.(that is reading through body language with our eyes, faces and bodies as as well as tone and voices). .

2. ” Peter Drucker a management guru has said 80 % of management problem is communication problem
.” —Dale Carnegie has said “There are only four ways, in which we have contact with the world. We are evaluated and classified by these four contacts: what we do, how we look, what we say, and how we say it

3.  Our communication can sometimes can be  “poor” .such communication is the cause of feuds and fights.

4. “Good” communication and the ability to manage conflict effectively  is a skill—one that all of us can learn Is called  “people skills.” 

5. Quite often, in the course of regular communication, a difference of understanding will arise.

10 the role of Perception has a critical role in our interpretation of  any given situation, has considerable influence over our reactions to the situation.

11. So falling is an agenda of conflict resolution

what to do "In a quarrel or conflict":

STOP      (Don’t panic – don’t react!)

THINK (gather information)

                           

ANALYZE (using gathered information decide how you can best empathize with this person)

                        

RESPOND (respectfully communicate your understanding of the situation and what would work for you)

i)   So Conflict can be dealt with

ii)   logically, calmly and effectively by using communication skills and reacting in a controlled, deliberate manner.

iii) Have the dialogue about the Problem Together

iv) Clarify the Issues – Focus on the Needs and Goals

v)  Understand each Other’s Perspective

vi) Break the Conflict into Small Steps, based on win win situation, do think how both of you win rather than both of you lose and only one can win.

vii)      Do Give and Take

viii)     Patch up and shake hands.

Learn How to do "HARMONIOUS WORKING RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR COWORKERS IN AN OFFICE"

Learn How to create  " HARMONIOUS WORKING RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR COWORKERS IN AN OFFICE"

How to treat your coworker:

1. Treat everyone as you'd like to be treated

2. treat your co-workers (and your boss) the same way you treat your customers

3. Don't judge a coworker by his or her peers.

4. Freely praise the coworkers if they show good results or on this achievements

5. Extend full cooperation and support

 to your coworkers

6. Try to have excellent Interpersonal relationship with them .

7. Try to have maintain a Cordial, congenial, friendly atmosphere with coworkers to achieve the desirable common goal and to extract the work from the fellow members.

8.    Exchange thoughts, ideas and work as a team with a view to realize our dream -establishment

Work Life Balance

Work Life Balance

1.  A good working definition of Work-Life Balance is:

You should have Meaningful daily Achievement and Enjoyment in each of your four life quadrants: Work, Family, Friends and Self.

2.  The best work-life balance is different for each of us because we all have different priorities and different lives

3.  There is no perfect, one-size fits all, for work life balance, you want to find ..

enjoyment does not mean happiness. It means Pride, Satisfaction, Happiness, Celebration, Love, A Sense of Well Being …all the Joys of Living.

4.  You cannot get the full value from life without BOTH Achievement and Enjoyment

5.  Enjoyment in every day life helps you avoid the Focusing on only Achievement and Poor tolerance often stems from being overworked and stressed.

6.   Find ways and means to de-stress yourself from time to time.

Perfect planning and time management keeping in mind the importance of family members ,your wife’s birthday ,child’s school functions etc,not forgetting marriage anniverseries,doing office project in time ,Is a tight rope walk.so

Get ample Social Support, of good friends and family members and steady servant or maid. Do not live life in  lonliness.Lonely people get more stressed, they experience higher blood pressure and more insomnia than those who have a strong social network.

Relationship and stress management

.Relationship and stress management

1. 

In twentyfirst century stress is a no.2 cause of health problems, second to only a heart trouble.
     So let us see how we can avoid the stress in relationships.
3.  YOU ARE A PART OF MANY  TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS simultaneously for ex.HUSBAND WIFE,BROTHER- SISTERS PARENT-CHILD,,BOSS-EMPLOYEE,NEIGHBOURS-LANLORD
 
4.  If your relationship is getting sour. Learn, not get bogged down because of it, “Don’t just be lost in negative feelings,”.
5.  Try to Change Your Reaction to Stress. Coping strategy: You may not be able to eliminate the stress.
 
6.  Start keeping a list of everything in your day that causes stress, in which situations and places you develop stress.
 
7.  Understand Stress
a.  Goal: Pinpoint where the anxiety is coming from.
b.  A certain amount of daily stress is normal. Stress, after all, is simply your Reaction — either positive or negative — to change,
8.  Try not to cry every time somebody says nasty words or be unhappy.
 
9.  instead learn and Try to be composed and calm 
 
10.            Learn to think in a logical, clearheaded way rather than making and taking a hasty decision based on emotions..
11.            Learn to communicate your feelings in an assertive manner instead of remaining silent about it.
12.            Learn how to do time management and planning..if stress is due to doing everything late- or do procrastination .
13.            If your stress is due to  need of everything perfect, you have to define your standard of perfection. Instea of taking too much of time for doing a task ,Learn to do the same task in less time.
14.            Learn life managing skills from a person you feel is an excellent stress free person and available to teach you-.parents,teachers,counselors,manager from office etc. or professionally

1. 
   

Can Communication resolve conflict?

Can Communication resolve conflict?

1. Off cource ,communication is a tool to understand and get understood completely through spoken & unspoken words.(that is reading through body language with our eyes, faces and bodies as as well as tone and voices). .

2. ” Peter Drucker a management guru has said 80 % of management problem is communication problem
.” —Dale Carnegie has said “There are only four ways, in which we have contact with the world. We are evaluated and classified by these four contacts: what we do, how we look, what we say, and how we say it

3.  Our communication can sometimes can be  “poor” .such communication is the cause of feuds and fights.

4. “Good” communication and the ability to manage conflict effectively  is a skill—one that all of us can learn Is called  “people skills.” 

5. Quite often, in the course of regular communication, a difference of understanding will arise.

10 the role of Perception has a critical role in our interpretation of  any given situation, has considerable influence over our reactions to the situation.

11. So falling is an agenda of conflict resolution

In a quarrel or conflict:

STOP      (Don’t panic – don’t react!)

                           THINK (gather information)

                           ANALYZE (using gathered information decide how you can best empathize with this person)

                        RESPOND (respectfully communicate your understanding of the situation and what would       work for you)

i)   So Conflict can be dealt with

ii)   logically, calmly and effectively by using communication skills and reacting in a controlled, deliberate manner.

iii) Have the dialogue about the Problem Together

iv) Clarify the Issues – Focus on the Needs and Goals

v)  Understand each Other’s Perspective

vi) Break the Conflict into Small Steps, based on win win situation, do think how both of you win rather than both of you lose and only one can win.

vii)      Do Give and Take

viii)     Patch up and shake hands.

Learn How to do HARMONIOUS WORKING RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR COWORKERS IN AN OFFICE

How to treat your coworker:

1. Treat everyone as you'd like to be treated

2. treat your co-workers (and your boss) the same way you treat your customers

3. Don't judge a coworker by his or her peers.

4. Freely praise the coworkers if they show good results or on this achievements

5. Extend full cooperation and support to your coworkers

6. Try to have excellent Interpersonal relationship with them .

7. Try to have maintain a Cordial, congenial, friendly atmosphere with coworkers to achieve the desirable common goal and to extract the work from the fellow members.

8.    Exchange thoughts, ideas and work as a team with a view to realize our dream -establishment