SUKH-SAMVAD COUNSELLING (SSC)

ANGER

A COMPREHENSIVE MANAGEMENT

Dr.rekha Deshmuk,Ph.D.

Abstract: Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems—problems at work, in your persona relationships, and in the overall quality of your life.  Dr.Rekha Deshmukh gives a comprehensive  thematic study  of anger  , Anger Management ,its ill-effect  on health, dynamics of Anger in relationships, how professional counsellor and  Mental Health Specialists dealing in Anger  Management can help people and organisations,scientific research of Anger,its effect  on productivity , surveys and data &Anger statistics & detailed discussion on how   Corporate initiatives can be started to  help employees with their Anger management at workplace .An urgent need of giving  emphasis and   to undertake  such reforms by Indian HR Managers .

Reject  angry emotins.,do not internalize anger

,do not take any hasty decisions when you are angry 

Anger management:

The term “anger management” was coined in 1975 by psychologist Raymond Novaco. Anderson, who studied psychotherapy at Harvard Medical School, first wrote his own curriculum in the mid-1990s to treat offenders adjudicated by Los Angeles County courts. Demand grew after September 11, longtime providers say that it boosted the number of businesses and individuals certified to offer anger management by U.S. companies to more than 17,000.Courses meant for businesspeople are often innocuously billed as “executive coaching” because of the corporate desire for anonymity—a characteristic shared with the medical Establishment .

What is Anger?

 Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems—problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life. Anger is an emotion that tells you something is wrong. It might show that someone or something has interfered with your goals, gone against you or wronged you in some way. Anger can make you feel like defending yourself, attacking or getting revenge. Everyone feels angry from time to time. How you experience and express your anger may be influenced by many factors, like gender, culture or religion.

Anger is not a bad feeling. Some people believe that anger is bad and that they shouldn’t express anger. This is not true! It’s completely normal to feel angry when you feel threatened, but anger sometimes gets the upper hand. As a result, you may do or say things that hurt others.

Anger can lead to positive change if you express it in a useful and constructive way. Anger can motivate you to make positive changes in your life. It can push you to solve problems. It can help you stand up for yourself and others. For example, people who feel angry about social injustice may speak out and bring about positive change to the system.

Anger becomes a problem if...

1.      Too frequent

 Anger may be appropriate, and it may help motivate you. However, if you are coping with lots of anger on a daily basis, it may be reducing the quality of your life, your relationships and your health.

2.      Too intense
Very intense anger is rarely a good thing. Anger triggers the “fight or flight” response, which causes all kinds of physiological reactions—your heart pumps faster, your breathing increases, and others. When you become very angry, you are also much more likely to act impulsively and do or say something that you regret later.

3.      Lasts too long
angry feelings that last for a long time are hard on your mood and on your body.

4.      Leads to aggression
you’re more likely to become aggressive when your anger is very intense. Lashing out at others either verbally or physically is not an effective way to deal with conflict.

5.       Disrupts work or relationships
Intense and frequent anger can lead to problems in your relationships with co-workers, family members and friends

6.      At its worst, anger can lead to the loss of employment and damage or destroy important relationships.

What causes anger?

1.      Anger-provoking situations

These might include frustrations, irritations, abuse and unfairness. Some situations fall into more than one category.

Internal causes
Different people may have different types of thoughts about the same types of situations. This is why some people become angry more often and more

a)      Evaluations: How you evaluate the situation will influence your emotions intensely than others. Expectations: Expectations about how things ought toturn out  , can also lead to anger if things don’t work out as planned.. If your expectations are unrealistic, you may feel disappointed, angry and frustrated when things inevitably don’t work out.

b)      Private speech: Angry self-talk may make angry feelings more intense and long-lasting. Thoughts like, “I’m going to show them!” or, “He’s always getting on my case!” often make you feel worse.

c)      Tension/Stress: It’s much easier to become angry when you already feel tense or stressed out.

What can one do about anger?

Anger is a sign you need to take constructive action. Anger is a source of energy to get things done and to solve problems. The goal of learning to manage anger is to minimize the negative consequences of this powerful emotion and maximize the positive ones. Strength lies in composure, not confrontation.

Anger management is about:

·         Problem-solving

·         Understanding how anger affects you

·         Building skills to control anger

There are three main ways to manage anger:! Anger management is about:

·         Problem-solving

·         Understanding how anger affects you

·         Building skills to control anger

There are three main ways to manage anger:

1.      Emotions

·         Relaxation You can’t be relaxed and angry at the same time.

·         Humor . Making an effort to see the humor in your frustrations and aggravations can help to combat an automatic angry reaction.

2.      Thinking Patterns

·         Manage Your Thoughts
A good way to lower anger is to manage angry thoughts about the situation.

·         Using affirmations (having POSITIVE THOUTHS) can help you to a certain extent at conscious levels

·          Take the following steps:

        Examine the evidence—Look for alternatives—what are some alternative ways of viewing the situation or conflict?

      Empathy
Often, other people’s behavior has nothing to do with you personally, ask yourself: “What does this situation feel like for the other person?”  

3. Behaviours

·         Problem-Solving
Being Assertive Without Being Aggressive
How you communicate depends on your goals. Your goals (even when angry) may include improving a valued relationship, maintaining your self-respect, solving a problem, making a request, communicating your feelings, showing understanding, and more. 
Anyone can learn assertive communication skills. Being assertive does not mean behaving aggressively.

Negative reactions to anger: the 3 don’ts!

How you behave once you’ve experienced an anger-provoking situation can have a big impact on how angry you feel and how long it lasts. You may increase your angry feelings if you respond to anger-provoking situations with any of the three don’ts:\

 bottling it up, getting defensive or lashing out.

The science of Anger. ·

 When we get angry, the heart rate, arterial tension and testosterone production increases, cortisol (the stress hormone) decreases, and the left hemisphere of the brain become more stimulated. This is indicated by a new investigation lead by scientists from the University of Valencia (UV) that analyses the changes in the brain's cardiovascular, hormonal and asymmetric activation response when we get angry.

Anger and Health

The effects of anger on health have more to do with duration than frequency and intensity. The normal experience of overt anger lasts only a few minutes. But the subtle forms of anger, such as resentment, impatience, irritability, grouchiness, etc., can go on for hours and days at a time.you partly responsible for it by not giving clear instructions?

.

Express your anger

By taking the time to survey the anger-making situation, you have the opportunity to cool off, and you can make expressions of anger a choice rather than a reaction. This gives you more control. Be honest, but be loving and respectful.

for hours and days at a time.

Consistent, prolonged levels of anger give a person a five times greater chance of dying before age 50. Anger elevates blood pressure, increases threat of stroke, heart disease, cancer, depression, anxiety disorders, and, in general, depresses the immune system (angry people have lots of little aches and pains or get a lot of colds and bouts of flu or headaches or upset stomachs). To make matters worse, angry people tend to seek relief from the ill-moods caused by anger through other health-endangering habits, such as smoking and drinking, or through compulsive behavior such as workaholics and perfectionism.

Because it acts on the entire central nervous system as an amphetamine, anger always produces a physiological "crash," often experienced as depression when the issues

 What is an Anger Problem?

Whatever the form of anger, in persistence you run the risk of becoming a reactaholic, with your thoughts, feelings, and behavior totally controlled by whoever or whatever you’re reacting to. The more reactive you are, the more powerless you feel.

Physical effects: Some of us deny anger because of messages we received as children, telling us about how we should and should not behave. Acknowledging to ourselves that we are, indeed, angry is a positive step. Here’s how to release it and maintain the respect of others.

Admit when you are angry

The first step in dealing constructively with anger is to admit when you are angry.

Stop, look and listen

Stop. Try to identify what you are angry about

Look. If you’ve identified the cause, think about it before you act. Could it have been avoided?  Listen. Anger is like an old friend reminding us what we like, what we want and what we need.

Express your anger

By taking the time to survey the anger-making situation, you have the opportunity to cool off, and you can make expressions of anger a choice rather than a reaction. This gives you more control.

Anger is one of many ways the body responds to stress. . When a person gets angry, the body reacts by increasing heart rate and blood pressure and releasing elevated amounts of certain hormones. Although the body is able to adjust to “normal” levels of stress, significant and accumulated stress can contribute to disease and eventual death.

In fact, medical researchers have linked the stress response of anger to:

• elevated blood pressure
• increased heart rate
• tense muscles
• heart attack
• stroke
• ulcers
• migraines
• low back pain
• shortened life expectancy

Psychological effects

Unexpressed—and expressed—anger impacts a person’s mental health as well. Studies have linked anger to loneliness, chronic anxiety, depression, eating disorders, sleep disorders, obsessive-compulsive behavior and phobias. Anger’s harmful effects spill over into a person’s personal and professional lives, undermining a person’s capacity for emotional fulfillment and personal and professional achievement. Anger inhibits the development and maintenance of intimate relationships, often resulting in

·         Marital and occupational instability.

·         Creates misunderstandings and minor grievances out of proportions

·          End relationships with people, even close friends, than work to resolve problems.

·           Alienate themselves from others—even their own families.

·         Have trouble being effective parents and spouses

  Managing anger in Personal and Professional space.   

Identify Your Goals and Action Plan
 Think of your goals in terms of specific behaviors and your reactions. Use a time frame to measure your progress.
Don’t Play the Blame Game
Blaming others will not help you get over your anger. Learn to take responsibility for your anger
 Learn and Practice Relaxation Techniques Learning and practicing relaxation techniques on a regular basis can help you stay calm. Some examples include:
Deep Breathing
Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR) Visualization
Meditation
Anger Management Worksheets
 Anger management worksheets in which you record the causative factors, people and situations you feel angry about, your feeling and action you take about the anger in your life or work situation
Some dynamics of Anger:

We become angrier when we are stressed out and body recourses are down
We are rarely angry for the reasons we think
we are often angry when we didn’t get what we needed as a child.
When we see a trait in others we can’t stand in ourselves.
Underneath many current angers are our old disappointments, traumas, and triggers.
We get angry because we were hurt as a child or when a situation brings up an old unresolved situation from the past
Anger control and management tip: Be aware of your anger warning signs and triggers

, there are physical warning signs in your body. Anger is a normal physical response. It fuels the “fight or flight” system of the body, and th Pay attention to the way anger feels in your body

§  Knots in your stomach

§  Clenching your hands or jaw

§  Feeling clammy or flushed

§  Breathing faster

§  Headaches

§  Pacing or needing to walk around

§  “Seeing red”

§  Having trouble concentrating

§  Pounding heart

§  Tensing your shoulders

Identify the negative thought patterns that trigger your temper

e angrier you get, the more your body goes into overdrive

Common negative thinking patterns that trigger and fuel anger include:

§  Over generalizing. 

§   Obsessing on “should” and “musts

§  Mind reading and jumping to conclusions. Collecting straws

§  Blaming

§  Avoid people places and situations that bring out your worst

Learn ways to cooling down: . Quick tips for cooling down

§  Focus on the physical sensations of anger

§  Take some deep breaths.

§  Exercise. 

§  Use your senses. 

§  Stretch or massage areas of tension.  Slowly count to ten

If you are getting upset about something, take a moment to think about the situation. Ask yourself:

§  How important is it in the grand scheme of things?

§  Is it really worth getting angry about it?

§  Is it worth ruining the rest of my day?

§  Is my response appropriate to the situation?

§  Is there anything I can do about it?

§  Is taking action worth my time?

Find healthier options about expressing your anger

When communicated respectfully and channeled effectively, anger can be a tremendous source of energy and inspiration for change.

·         Pinpoint about what you are angry about

·         Take a break of five minutes if things get too heated

·         .Make the relationship your priority.Focus on the present. Choose your battles Be willing to forgive. .

·         Know when to let something go and move on.

Get Help and Support

If anger is damaging your life in any of the following ways:

§  Anger interferes with family life, job performance or school performance

§  Anger leads you to lose control of your actions or what you say

§  Anger prevents you and your loved ones from enjoying life

Anger leads you to act in a threatening or violent manner towards yourself, other people, animals or property

You Can  take a quiz on the internet on http://www.quibblo.com/quiz/a4jmJgM/Do-you-need-ANGER-MANAGEMENT

and get instant results.

Try to talk to a friend, family member or mental health professional

Consider professional help if

§   You feel constantly frustrated and angry no matter what you try.

§  Your temper causes problems at work or in your relationships.

§  you avoid new people or events because  You feel like you cannot control your temper

§  .You often have gotten in the trouble with the law due to your anger.

§  Your anger has even led to physical violence.

 You Need Counseling

A counsellor, psychologist or other licensed mental health professional can work with you in developing a range of techniques for changing your thinking,like cognitive behevioral theoryCBT) Therapy can be a great way to explore the reasons behind your anger

You can try Taking Assertiveness Training to  make you become Cool or join Anger management classes or groups.

Why Are Some People Angrier Than Others?

What makes these people this way?

 One cause may be genetic or physiological: There is evidence that some children are born irritable, touchy, and easily angered, and that these signs are present from a very early age. Another may be sociocultural. Research has also found that family background plays a role. Typically, people who are easily angered come from families that are disruptive, chaotic, and not skilled at emotional communication

Anger in a family dynamics/abusive relationships:

Important Tip for dealing with a loved one’s anger management problem

While you can’t control another person’s anger, you can control how you respond to it:

§  Set clear boundaries about what you will and will not tolerate.

§  Wait for a time when you are both calm to talk to your loved one about the anger problem. Don’t bring it up when either one of you is already angry.

§  Remove yourself from the situation if your loved one does not calm down.

§  Consider counseling or therapy for yourself if you are having a hard time standing up for yourself.

§  Put your safety first. Trust your instincts. If you feel unsafe or threatened in any way, get away from your loved one and go somewhere safe.

Anger is not the real problem in abusive relationships

Despite what many people believe, domestic violence and abuse is not due to the abuser’s loss of control over his behavior and temper. If you are in an abusive relationship, know that couples counseling is not recommended—and that your partner needs specialized treatment, not regular anger management classes.

Anger: Scientific research and correlation to productivity.

Effects of anger and Resentment on Work Performance:

• Distorts problem-solving to overkill or underestimates
• Increases error rates
• Deteriorates mental and physical performance, including:

• Thought-processing and reality-testing
• Judgment
• Perception: We hear and see things inaccurately
• Learning and memory
• Creativity

• Suppresses the immune system, increasing sick leave
• Wreaks havoc in home life, raising absenteeism and distraction at work
• Inevitably leads to sub-par performance, sand bagging, backstabbing, subversion, power struggles, sabotage, and sometimes violence
• Eliminates positive passion (conviction, meaning, intensity of purpose) through compulsion to avenge or punish, which quickly deteriorates into self-righteousness and petty vindictiveness
• Makes us reactaholics. When other people "push your buttons," you’re a powerless reactor rather than a powerful actor
• Eventually ruins sex life through accumulation of the #1 block to intimacy: resentment.
• Creates power struggles
• CONTAGION: Resentment and anger are the most contagious of emotions, someone comes to work resentful, and by afternoon the whole office is resentful.
• Behavior impulses usually suppressed during even the minor forms of anger arousal:

• control/neutralize
• warn-threaten-intimidate
• Inflict injury on feelings or body.

You can have an Empowered Workplace by eliminating damaging resentment, anger, and the threat of violence at work.

Surveys and data about Anger

In Unnati Narang opinion “with mounting performance pressures, highly competitive workplaces and a rat race to achieve too much too quickly, corporate India might just be running into some serious corporate rage problems’. with not too many numbers and studies to prove how much of it actually exists, corporate rage is a mystifying subject. is wellknown fact that if the  employees .are angery, productivity goes down.

 Anger Statistics

According to Mental Health Organization: Boiling Point Report 2008 For Mental Health Action Week 2008, the Mental Health Organization launched a report 'Boiling Point' about problem anger, how it affects individuals, families and communities, and what we can do to minimize the harm it causes. There are approximately 50 published research studies that have tested some kind of intervention for anger problems with adults and another 40 relating to children or adolescents, and researchers have concluded that successful treatments exist for adults, adolescents and children.
• Almost a third of people polled (32%) say they have a close friend or family member who has trouble controlling their anger.
• More than one in ten (12%) say that they have trouble controlling their own anger.
• More than one in four people (28%) say that they worry about how angry they sometimes feel.
• One in five of people (20%) say that they have ended a relationship or friendship with someone because of how they behaved when they were angry.
• 64% either strongly agree or agree that people in general are getting angrier.
• Fewer than one in seven (13%) of those people who say they have trouble controlling their anger have sought help for their anger problems.
• 58% of people wouldn’t know where to seek help if they needed help with an anger problem.
• 84% strongly agree or agree that people should be encouraged to seek help if they have problems with anger.
• Those who have sought help were most likely to do so from a health professional (such as a counselor, therapist, GP or nurse), rather than from friends and family, social workers, employers or voluntary organizations.
• Generational differences are striking. Older people are less likely to report having a close friend or family member with an anger problem or to be worried about how angry they sometimes feel or that they have trouble dealing with their own anger, than younger people.
• There are striking regional differences in responses to our anger polling – especially between Scotland and other parts of the UK.

According to The Sunday Times Magazine - July,16 2006

• 45% of us regularly lose our temper at work
• 64% of Britons working in an office have had office rage.
• 38% of men are unhappy at work.
• 27% of nurses have been attacked at work.
• Up to 60% of all absences from work are caused by stress.
• 33% of Britons are not on speaking terms with their neighbours.
• 1 in 20 of us has had a fight with the person living next door.
• UK airlines reported 1,486 significant or serious acts of air rage in a year, 
a 59% increase over the previous year.
• The UK has the second-worst road rage in the world, after South Africa.
• More than 80% of drivers say they have been involved in road rage incidents; 
25% have committed an act of road rage themselves.
• 71% of internet users admit to having suffered net rage.
• 50% of us have reacted to computer problems by hitting our PC, hurling parts of it 
around, screaming or abusing our colleagues.
• 27% of managers in the construction industry have sought medical help for stress, anxiety or depression.
• More than one third of the UK population is losing sleep from anxiety.
• 1 in 7 adults have sought medical treatment for stress.
• Depression and anxiety have overtaken physical ailments as the chief cause of long-term sickness.

Productivity and mental Illness

It is well documented fact that  the annual  losses to the economy due to mental illness in the workplace .  
Mental disorders is the topmost condition causing long term disability.

Anger leading to VIOLENCE

Violence or the threat of violence can occur within or outside the workplace. It can range from threats and verbal abuse to physical assaults and homicide, one of the leading causes of job related deaths 46 According to the US Department of Justice 1994, about one million individuals were victims of some form

of violent crime in the workplace, constituting 15% of all the violent crimes. In a study among doctors in the UK, half of them reported experiencing some degree of violence or abuse from patients, including verbal abuse, threats and physical assaults. But many felt too guilty or embarrassed to report violent patients and blamed themselves or the in competence of the health system.

Some media headlines reflecting workplace violence

Dismissed employees beat CEO to death...

Sexual harassment at workplace…

Woman officer in army commits suicide…

Software engineer commits suicide…

Airline official assaulted…Teacher petrified after attack by student…, Violence erupts at shipyard…,BPOs : Outsourcing violence?...

Types of violence at the workplace

Verbal Anger, aggression, hostility,Abuse,Intimidation,Threats,Swearing,Using vulgar language,Physical,Homicide,Assault,Threatening actions (banging doors, shaking, fists),Psychological, Mobbing ,Bullying, Harassment, including sexual harassment.

(Sending unsolicited email with explicit, sexual content) Demeaning behavior Embarrassing/humiliating behavior

Organizational factors that can prevent or potentiate violence include:

Physical features of the workplace,Setting Managerial style,Workplace culture Violence can cause serious damage to the workplace through lost productivity, absenteeism, a stressful work environment, a damaged reputation and difficulty in retaining workforce. Although the verbal abuse was thought to be observed more by males, an increasing number of women in positions of power are bullying their colleagues and employees, a new survey has found. According to the survey conducted by the British Association of Anger management, while such bullying behavior is more commonly associated with male bosses, a fifth of female bosses admit to shouting or being verbally abusive at work. 10 per cent of women executives admit to blaming and shaming colleagues when things go wrong. ."The main reason for an increase in anger is the inability to deal with stress. Women tend to pay more attention to detail than men so they sweat over the small things,"( the Daily Mail ).

.Corporate initiatives to help employees with their Anger management at workplace:

Since anger management is one of the agenda of  wellness, organizational wellness initiatives focus on the working environment by changing or improving factors such as leadership style, management practices, the way in which work is organized, employee autonomy and control, and social support. These factors have been shown to have a dramatic impact on employee health outcomes.  Workplaces that promote organizational wellness support both employee health and a strong bottom line, with reduced absenteeism, turnover, health and compensation costs.
Employee Assistance programs (EAPs) are employee benefit programs offered by employers in conjunction with a health insurance plans:

What Employers can do at workplace?

• They can provide
•          Awareness and Training.
•          Provide information on positive mental health as well as issues such as stress, Anger management, depression and anxiety.

• Communicate management’s commitment to achieving a healthy psychological work environment where employees are able to balance their work, personal and family responsibilities.
• Ensure managers are aware of anger provoking issues /mental health issues in the workplace and the business costs of not dealing with them. They need to recognize the signs of anger /mental health problems and help people get early treatment.
• Offer workshops, lunch & learn sessions and training to raise awareness and help managers and employees address workplace stress and reduce the stigma of mental health.
• Provide opportunities for employees to discuss and have input on workload, goals and deadlines to help prevent stress and work-life conflict.
•          Implement and enforce policies to prevent harassment, bullying and discrimination.
• Support mutual respect as the basis for all workplace relationships.
• Train supervisors and managers so they can support employees to achieve work-life balance.
• Provide employees with flexible work schedules and timings.
• Monitor and discourage unpaid overtime.
• Encourage employees to take all their holiday and vacation time.
• ·         Get employees’ input on wellness, anger management/ mental health and work-life balance through discussions and surveys.

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