Happy friendhip Day: Friendship :type of Relationship

"Happy friendship Day"

there is a shekspere’s sonnet about the faithful friends –

“Those who flatter thee is no friend in misery

words are easy like the wind

Faithful friends are hard to find

1. Th­ere is­ no  fix­ed­ rule of How to find or make a Good friend­.

2.  Always­ one should ch­oos­e a p­ers­on wh­o is­ h­onorab­le, having a p­ure heart, refined­ and­ truth­ful to b­e your friend.

3. It is often said a “friendship is like a body and a shadow, or a pencil and an eraser Friendship is an eternal bond. A true friend will love you for yourself and not for your possessions and wealth.

4.  A friend always knows your potential and gives a gentle push when needed, which helps us to grow.

5. ­Friendship bonds strengthen by adding trust, understanding, support, and space..

6. Try to give each other space .Respect the need of privacy

7. Friends are there to give us a helping hand, when you  are in deep trouble or when you have broken heart

8. In the end I want to say, friends are like street lamps ,they do not shorten your path in life, but they illuminate the path scintillatingly with their presence and make it lighter to walk on.

.Relationship Building tips;

The Basic relationships we have with others are solely dependent on the relationships we share with our own self. Our relationship with the outer world depends on our perspectives and thoughts. When we harbor unconditional love towards ourselves, we tend to project the same to the outer world.

 One of the most significant factors that affect relationships is our attitude. Our passions, insecurities, fears behavior, doubt and desires have a huge impact on the relationships we share with others. So it is necessary to change your perspective towards life and relationships so that it is easy to handle different aspects of life.

\

 In order to build a positive relationship with others, it is important to build a positive relationship with yourself first and foremost.. To build a positive relationship with yourself, it is important to build self esteem and self respect. It is also important to let go of your various past hurts and resentments to move ahead being stress free in life.

So Do you want to build your love nest, a harmonious house, a haven on this earth?

1.  Treat your relationships is like a bank account.

2.  Learn to Deposit in your relationship’s current  account ,small or big  daily deposits of deeds, pleasant actions involving your partner’s likes, avoiding dislikes Try to Keep relationship fresh, if  you feel stressed out ,go for walks ,hand in hand ,discover new places,eataries,create new opportunities ,avoid monotonies of life.

3.  Learn to do small sacrifices, start giving complements to each other often.  The goodwill created by you in the relationship will come back to you in circle.

4.  Write love notes, keep talking, do not stop talking after quarrels, make bridges, amend relationship; you know one stitch in time saves nine.

5. Touching with hands is a nonverbal positive “Therapy“. Express your love in physical touches, give each other massages, and back rub, head massage.

6.  Adopt these small but miraculous tips in your daily life and see your relationship flowing like a cool breeze, like a flowering tree, now this new relationship will give you a good fit like your old jeans. 

7.    You cannot change your attitude or perspective towards life in a single day. But one should hope  to find a solution to all your problems related to social and personal relationships by   focusing on various aspects that will help you to identify the gaps in your social life and design very effective and intelligent strategy to manage your social life effectively.

8.    By adopting these tips , you will be able to connect with people in spite of  your introversion or shyness and  increase the social confidence of people who are shy.

9.   You can develop your various relationship strategies to find out  and alter your behavioral patterns to attract people and to build positive relationship with people on the basis of mutual respect. It will be easier day by day by working on your” self “to deal with difficult relationships that include friends , relatives and colleagues and building positive relationships in a social circle.

 .

10. Having a compassionate and loving relationship at home and work is the key to a happy, healthy and successful life. Maintaining a relationship for a long period of time requires patience, love, understanding and compassion. Life can be quite challenging and stressful from time to time. Work pressure, family stress and financial problems can be overwhelming at times. We tend to become depressed, angry, frustrated and sad in life but all these negative emotions can be altered extensively.

11.  Failed relationships can cause anxiety and loneliness in life. There are many ways to improve personal relationships at home and at work. Compassion for others and patience are the two most fundamental  elements required for a strong bond of relationship.

Brother sister relationship

Rakhabandhan day is on 2nd  August 2012

1. Brother Sister Love or relationship is like brooch ,ring or band of friendship and love .

2. Brother may think my sister likes jewelary .let me choose a brooch ,a ring or a payal as a present to give on rakhabndan  day. my Sister will love it.

3. But in reality what a sister really needs is Bond of understanding

4. Since childhood you have shared your cup of joys and sorrows together..but now in adulthood, a sister needs support.So understand,feel the need and  extend her unconditional support .

5. Girs/ Women have soft/ touchy minds .They need solace if they are not getting enough warmth or  and affection in her husband’s home.

6. Try to meet her at least in a month ou are in same city/town/village.talk often on phone. .learn about important Try to learn important  happenings in her life.

7.  if anybody is having difficulties in relationship with a sister,try to forgive and forget patch up your relationships. This is what bond of understanding is.

8. It is never too late. One can start now to work on developing understanding  between you and your sister. In my opinion this is the best gift a brother can give,Off course along with a nice affordable ,suitable  present on rakhabandhan day.

Counselling----An Open and frank dialogue with a friendly Counsellor

Manu and Mitali  were having a problem in relationship. Previously their whole friends( gang) used to participate in the problem solving sessions. But now they were serious in their relationship.They thought their problem should not become the topic of the whole town. Next, they asked the opinion of their good friend Ravi about what can they do to sort out the problem. That day Ravi offered them a solution and talked for a long time. But from next day he started avoiding them, thinking they might like to talk further on the topic.

R U tired of talking to friends, as their solutions are not helping you in your difficult situation? Then go and meet a well trained, friendly counsellor.

Many a times when we have a dilemma or have to face a difficult situation in life, relationships or in a carrier, we talk it out with our friend who we seem to be sympathetic towards us. But is it always possible to   open up and talk to a friend?All of us not extrovert and for few it is difficult to open up. It still nags us,” will it be effective?”Am I getting a correct solution? Also there are some drawbacks in using friends as your only confidants and support or as a sounding board. But Counsellor often encourage clients to use the client’s social support network like friend, relative or a teacher AS you must  communicate YOUR problems with SOMEBODY. 

 The relationship between counsellor and client is a special one. It is built around trust and support. It is confidential even after counselling ends. It also offers clients a place free from judgement. You can talk out any emotion with your counsellor or even cry if get overwhelmed with sharing past traumatic experiences and feelings.

 It is important that there are a number of boundaries and support mechanisms in place to ensure the needs of the client are met. These boundaries should be apparent whether you receive counselling face to face, online or over the telephone.

A counsellor can be having a friendly nature but he/she cannot become your friend.

 The relationship with your counsellor must always remain professional. This is the case even if you have counselling for many years. This distinct difference allows your counsellor to retain a level of objectivity that a friend will struggle with when you go to them with your problems.  Your friend may have a stake in the outcome of your problems while a counsellor will not have. For example, despite being supportive, your friend hopes you will split up with your  girl/boy friend  as they never liked him.  You can get on really well with your counsellor but the relationship should always remain formal. You can never think   to meet your counsellor for coffee outside the sessions, as the boundary will blur, lost and the relationship will be compromised.

 Another boundary we have  to be aware of is that counselling is not about telling you what to do. Counsellors will work towards self awareness and help promote positive change. Clients are regarded as experts in their own life and capable of making decisions. Counselling can help clarify these decisions and broaden perspectives. Again, this is how a counsellor can be more effective than a friend. As it is very easy for a friend to give advice that may or may not be helpful to your particular experience.

A client should always feel safe in a counselling relationship. There should not be any untoward touching, or interaction that the client feels is inappropriate. Related to the idea of safety, you will find counsellors like to begin and end sessions on time, therefore providing a space set aside just for clients, where the boundaries are clear.

·         Friend may becomee upset by what you are telling and cannot cope with it, least give you advice/solution.

• Friends can feel a conflict of loyalty and find it hard to keep things confidential
• Friends might not like it and break your friendship, if you don't accept their advice
• If you need lots of help friends might begin to feel resentful and you might feel guilty Counselors have had training and have formal support and a work structure which helps them to deal with upsetting and difficult situations; friends may begin to feel overburdened, especially if they have their own problems too.

Finally, sometimes we need slightly more specialist, trained, empathetic counsellor’s help than friends can provide. Sometimes, it is boring or tiresome for your friends or family members to hear you talk about your problems on and on--.While a counsellor can give you  100% listening.

“Stop it .I am tired of your irritable advice” -----Familiar line?   Sometimes it’s natural for our friends to want to help us, but the chances are that you will have already thought of the solutions that are being suggested. Your problem remained a problem so long because there is something so hidden or embedded that prevents you from adopting the straightforward solutions. Counsellors are trained to value your expression of feelings as an important part of your experience. They will understand that your difficulty is a complex part of your reality, and help you to explore it fully .In the end you will be so empowered by the counselling that you can arrive at your own course of action.

FEELING STRESSED OUT, GOING THROUGH “CAREER DILEMMA” AFTER COLLEGE EDUCATION? THOUSANDS OF CHOICES? WHICH CAREER TO CHOOSE? MAKE A RIGHT CHOICE BABY! GO FOR APTITUDE TESTING & CARRIER COUNSELLING

ATTITUDE: As per the dictionary definition, our aptitudes represent the likes, dislikes, judgements, positive or negative views or degree of preferences for something. Our personal experiences or observations give shape to our attitudes and make it visible in our choices of our carriers.

APTITUDE: Our Aptitudes is the inner inbuilt component of our individual competency. You will be competent doing the job for which you have an aptitude. So make it very sure well before taking all important decisions of your life.

GREAT PATH TOWARDS TAKING A RIGHT CHOICE OF CAREER -----

Ask right questions

Know what suits your personality and liking and your level of efforts

 Make sure to do right choice

If not possible to do it yourself, discover your right aptitude by going  for expert’s opinion (carrier Counselling)

Try our different things 

In the end you have to follow your heart

When we have an aptitude for something  we have an inbuilt mechanism for its fulfilment ,only we have to apply our aptitude to our  maximum  potential by remaining positive and being efficient by opting to make efforts in that direction. We have to learn to walk the walk and talk the talk for that chosen profession.

Begin by asking many questions and write down the answers as an exercise.

What are my talents and skills and abilities?

What kind of attitudes do towards certain profession you want to take and like and towards life in general life?

What I do enjoy the most?

What is the choice of career, my heart and mind desires the most?

The next step is you must write down this exercise and give honest and sincere answers to yourself. Give it  a thought  by spending quality time .After all, it is your own  carrier you are choosing. Be serious. Remember you and your life can open many doors and windows opportunities and possibilities. Many people your family members, friends, acquaintances will start giving you advice or you will come under peer pressure. But do not succumb to such pressures. Keep your head cool. In the end it is you who will do the choice.

So always be mindful about your choices of careers and rejections.

Life s a series of events and choices and once time invested in life can come back and roll over again like a film or roll of a camera. So be wise in your choice. Ask for feedbacks from few of your family, friends, acquaintances and do not confuse yourself by asking too many people.

There are two ways to take a career. One is  by being ambitious and going for a best paying job without an aptitude  or going for a career you can have which you will like to do all your life which will give you pleasure and happiness and it might be based on your hobby or interest.

Try out different things. Few people know exactly what they want as a career and they pursue it. Others do not know it so they try out different choices of carriers. Let your aptitude and attitudes determine your career. It is not considered a waste of time since you get different experience at each and every step and your environment also helps you by opening up further opportunities opens gates for you. People rush in to give you right advices or help once they think you are seriously doing efforts. So find the purpose of your life by pursuing your attitudes and aptitudes. In the end you will reach your ideal choice. Always remember the most famous persons and icons in any field have reached their destiny by doing hard work and great effort after having many failures.

So make a right choice baby!

Take a motivation test

MOTIVATION TEST:

1.       Nothing gives me more satisfaction than:

a)      Recognition and appreciation of my work

b)      The feeling  of i have lived up to the expectation and done my job well

c)       Time whiled away with my friends

2.       I would like to be perceived as a

a)      A wealthy successful person

b)      An efficient person

c)       A friendly person

3.       Nothing is worse than

a)      Having your self-esteem damaged

b)      Failing in an important task

c)       Losing your friend

4.       As a child i enjoyed

a)      Just chilling with my gang

b)      The feeling of accomplishment after i did something well.

c)       Being praised for my achievements

5.       Given a choice I would like to

a)      Expand my friend circle

b)      Work at the hobby or learn something new and exciting

c)       Just take it easy without any tension

d)       

6.       I think i do my best when

a)      When i work with congenial group of people

b)      I have a job with my line of work

c)       My efforts are rewarded

7.       I like

a)      Being appreciated

b)      Being satisfied with my performance

c)       Being with my friends with whom i can have a good time

Scoreboard

    a)            b)     c)

1)                0          1       2

2)                1          2       0

3)                1          2       0

4)                0          2       1

5)                0          2       1

6)                0          2       1

7)                1          2       0

0-5:  The more the merrier that’s your attitude.

You like to be appreciated and liked by all around you.

5-10- Me and myself

You are like doing your own things. All that matters and motivates you is personal satisfaction

10+ --works is worship

As long as the job is done and you fulfil your responsibilities, that’s all that matters to you.

Source: India Today,Aug.20,2001.