Tuesday, October 30, 2012


Smart persons do things smartly


If you want to do personality development and want to increase your EQ and networking ability

 

 :Read and internalise & practice(do it)



Personality:
1. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
2. Don't have negative thoughts of things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment
3. Don't over do; keep your limits
4. Don't take yourself so seriously; no one else does
5. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip
6. Dream more while you are awake
7. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need..
8. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner of his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
9. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
10. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present
11. No one is in charge of your happiness except you
12. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn.
Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
13. Smile and laugh more
14. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.


Community:
15. Call your family often
16. Each day give something good to others 
17. Forgive everyone for everything 
18. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6
19. Try to make at least three people smile each day
20. What other people think of you is none of your business
21. Your job will not take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Stay in touch
.


Life:
22. Put GOD first in anything and everything that you think, say and do.
23. GOD heals everything
24. Do the right things
25. However good or bad a situation is, it will change
26. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up
27. The best is yet to come
28. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful
29. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it
30. If you know GOD you will always be happy. So, be happy. 





 While you practice all of the above, share this knowledge with the people you love, people you school with, people you play with, people you work with and people you live with.

Not only will it enrich YOUR life, but also that of those around you.

*From Internet source(forward) 

Monday, September 24, 2012

21st century Mantra of having the robust Mental Health?



Secreat  is out:Repeat in your life too,


21st century Mantra of having the robust Mental Health


Our brain and Memory has only one mantra: You can either "Use it or lose it"

The biggest challenge as you mature in age is how to keep engaging your brain in challenging mental activities .The metabolism slows down , the body matures ,your thinking process ( your Brain) to0 slow down . Only the  vigorous activities like physical games/exercise involving repetitions ,playing board games ,computer games  ,games like chase,solving puzzles which will involve new pathways  etc. slows down brain-ageing, keeps the brain young & prevents Alzheimer’s disease and Dementia.

 Experimental evidence:  Rats in the captivity  given  toys to play with showed that they had more synaptic neuronal connections compared to those rats that were deprived of such stimulation.

Applied research:Brain exercises such as computer games, crossword puzzles, chess, learning music or a foreign language and memory exercises have been used to facilitate recovery from brain damage caused by head injury, stroke, diabetes, infarct and chronic schizophrenia.Even persons who were paralysed  were able to recover with brain-stimulating exercises which proves that Mental exercises can heal a sick 
brain.

Example:Scientist and mathematician John Nash(famous for his “Game theory and Nobel prize winner in Economics),  is a striking example who was seriously mentally ill, afflicted with schizophrenia for more than a decade.  He  attributed his recovery to brain exercises like chess and computer games and calls this strategy ‘cognitive therapy’.
 The silver population( Senior/ retired ) who carry on working in the same or similar profession till 75 years of age ,so  doing same jobs  doesn’t help the brain because they are only exercising the pre-existing old neuronal circuitry.Old memories have had the advantage of repeated mental practice or recall . They are the last to fade away in dementia and Alzheimer’s. They are also stored in locations distinctly different from recent memory. It’s during learning to do new activities  , new neuronal connections are formed in the brain.

What is the secrete  of some people remain active / look  young  in old age ?

It is not a magic but effect of neurogenesis. It is not a 'rocket science. You too can look young .Just start trying to change a carrier in middle age or learning a new language .since it involves learning afresh like an infant, without the advantage of prior experience at the task. As our brain has to be in full focus on the task. This is hard work compared to the brain work required for practicing the old skill. More neurochemicals acetylcholine and dopamine are released. On such occasions, our brain is becoming younger, generating new neurons. Learn to change the brain. Because , once dead, same brain cells cannot be brought back to life. However, new brain cells can be formed. This is neurogenesis. And that happens when we learn a new skill. When we are in the process of picking up a new skill, new nerve cells are generated in the hippocampus. And depending upon what brain region is engaged in learning the new task, these young nerve cells migrate to the engaged brain region and start to function in their new location. It’s in the hippocampus that new mental associations, new learning occurs before it’s shifted to higher brain regions for permanent storage. If you can’t practice a new skill physically, just imagine yourself doing it. Scientists had one group of persons practice a skill for a week and saw the improvement not only in their performance, but also in the brain map of the responding brain region. But this was expected. However, what was unexpected was that the second group that ‘practised’ the same skill in their minds, too showed improvements in brain functions and map. Admittedly, the changes in the ‘mental only’ group were weaker than in the first group but the point is that they had both structural brain change and also improvement in their functional use of the skill.
The brain is not a rigid structure but is easily changeable. Changes in the level of mental stimulation alter neural circuitry and consequently, the physical architecture of our brain, keeping it young. So keep it engaged! Use the mental tools to keep it sharp
Chess: Anatoly Sharansky, the famous Soviet human rights
Activist of the late 1970s was imprisoned for his alleged spying
against the then-Soviet Union. He was imprisoned for
nine years, During his prison term, Sharansky kept his brain in
good shape by playing mental chess. He used to plan from
both perspectives—his and opponent’s ,a rare mental effort. Without the mental
work, all his brain maps would degenerate. Several years
later, when world chess champion Gary Kasparov  defeated allother s  but Sharansky.
so be active and  solve Crossword puzzles:
People who are inactive can sometimes get Dementia and Alzaimers disease.. The active seniors mostly engaged in physical exercise and regularly solve crossword puzzles, play board games, read books and newspapers and participate in group discussions.
Learn to play musical Instruments or singing:
 Brain imaging of musicians’ brains shows that many areas of their brains, such as the motor area [because they use fingers] and cerebellum, are larger than those of the non-musicians. Long-time musicians also have thicker fibers connecting the left and right sides of the brain.
New generation has started teaching their young ones piano, guitar, or giving vocal music lessons which shows improvement in mathematical abilities.
You may ask why do I need such information, what do I have too with all this? I don’t have dementia or Alzheimer’s”. It is observed that dementia doesn’t set in abruptly. It comes gradually. Alzheimer’s takes ten or more years before it manifests clinically. But soft signs start over a decade in advance…having one or two from the following list of signs can be due to normal aging but many or all of them occurring often needs interventions like having more vitamins B complex from nutrition or the memory boosting physical and mental exercises.  
  • Opening the fridge but forgetting the reasons, “what I needed from fridge?
  • Often going to another room in your house but forgetting why you went?
  • Forgetting the names of people you used to know?
  • Frequently forget where you kept your keys, eye glasses, pen or wallet?
  • You need to use gadgets or a pocket diary to remind yourself of important appointments or tasks?
  •  Getting lost while talking…you stray away get lost in peripheral conversational details and forget the main argument with which you started?
§   Frequent need to ask the listener “So where was I or on what point we were we talking”?
§   Having the nagging feeling “the name of an object or a person is ‘on the tip of my tongue’ and yet, I can’t recall it exactly?
§  Even in familiar surrounding or hometown, while driving, sudden feeling, for a moment that you are lost?

It is easier to say and deny memory problems by refusing to accept that you have a problem and dismiss the failure to recall recent events or learn new things. It is not wise to declare that we can recall even old events. The misconception here is “the older the memory, the more difficult it is to recall’. But this is misleading. The capacity to learn new things and recall recent events is lost more easily than the memory for old events. In the above two diseases, person may recall the name of his school or his friend’s name from nursery, or kG Classes or mathematical tables but he does not recall the most recent happenings or the names of his current friends, wife, son or daughter etc. It will be too late if we wait for the old memories to switch of completely. As current research demonstrates a significant percentage of patients with a variety of psychiatric disorders, including depression, have a deficiency in several vitamins such as thiamine, pyridoxine, cyanocobalamin, and folic acid. research suggests that nutrition may play a role in the development or maintenance of depression. There is a direct  relationship between depression and need of several nutrients (carbohydrates, tryptophan, and vitamins) So, start doing remedial mental exercises as soon as you can. To further boost the best results, provide optimal nutrition for the brain like omega-3 rich foods (fish oil capsules, fish, omega-3 rich vegetarian options like dry fruits-walnuts and almonds, etc.)

Reference:

1.Nutrition and depression, By Christensen, Larry Christensen, Larry ,(1996). Diet–behavior relationships: Focus on depression, (pp. 89-108). Washington, DC, US: American Psychological Association, vi, 209 pp.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

MindMattersOnline.com

please consult/read  /share/tell others about  MindMattersOnline.com,It is an excellent site for all your psycho-social ; problems if any.

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Possessiveness, what is possessiveness, personal boundaries and how much possessiveness is healthy.


Possessiveness, what is possessiveness, personal boundaries and how much possessiveness is healthy.





EVERY PERSON in this world at some point of his time gets too possessive or obsessed about some thing/ person. For instance, kids are so possessive that they will not allow others to play with their toys

Possessiveness, is a strange feeling which any normal person could get upon his/her partner. It is not necessary that this happens only for in life partner relationships, but this is possible even between friends, brother or sisters. First of all , possessiveness is not a problem to be looked at with a strict face. It is just a normal feeling which primarily arises out of insecurity. Any personal who is confident and got faith on their relationship would not feel insecure. On the other hand, a lot of people think that they might lose their loved once and try to take more control.
The cause of Possessiveness -
1. Insecurity

2. Lack of confidence or faith on partner
3. Jealousy
4. Lack of self confidence
2. Avoid feelings insecure and have more confidence on your partner and relationship
3. Be honest in your relationship
4. Remember possessiveness is just a feeling and not a disorder. It can be removed if u wish.
5. Ask your partner to give you  a reassurance of love. Make him understand and do something which keeps the faith and confidence intact in yourself.

 
By being possessive, you are trying to take away the freedom of that other person. This creates insecurity for the partner, which ends up in misunderstandings.So refrain from doing it if up do not want to lose your partener/friend.
 
Before possessiveness becomes an addiction, it should be suppressed. We should accept the truth that nothing in this world belongs to us. What did we bring to this world to take it back or own? Hence getting over attached to anything would lead to sadness, unhappiness and misery.
 
Although possessiveness has all the worst traits, it is a bit sweet that someone is so important to us. You get possessive on a guy/girl when you care and love him/her immensely!!! It’s just a feeling. If not controlled, it may ruin or spoil the relationship...or your equation with that particular person at the least….A relation does not involve ownership

. It requires partnership.2. Lack of confidence or faith on partner 
3. Jealousy 
4. Lack of self confidence
2. Avoid feelings insecure and have more confidence on your partner and relationship 
3. Be honest in your relationship 
4. Remember possessiveness is just a feeling and not a disorder. It can be removed if u wish. 
5. Ask your partner to give u a reassurance of love. Make him understand and do something which keeps the faith and confidence intact in yourself

Insecurity - The feeling of fear whether his/her partner would leave them for any reason is called insecurity. Everyone in this world feels insecure about something. In this case, it is their loved one's. The reason behind feeling insecure could also be reflected from the past that they had a bad relation or met an unfaithful person which made them carve their mind and mould it to have no faith on anyone else.
Lack of confidence or faith on partner- This situation might be as a result of the action of their partner. It can also be due to self centered quality of a person or due to the effect of very low self confidence.
Jealousy - This is often a term which is used as a substitute for possessiveness. But it is found to be true that both jealousy and possessiveness are tail tied. They dont have much difference at all. A feeling which makes a person think that their relationship is being threatened by a rival. This is very common in every human relationship.
Lack of self-confidence - The lack of feeling and strength in ones own heart can be a cause to find faults with others. Since the person is lacking confidence, faith level goes low and they start to try and take control over their partner in order to hold their relationship.
There is no believed solution to possessiveness. Since it is not a disease or disorder, it cant be removed completely. It is a feeling which needs extensive care and concentration to lower the level of possessiveness. Unless the person and his/her partner sit and talk about this openly there will be no end to it.

Some possible ways to solve this :
1. Find out the reasons to feel possessive about your partner
n a relationship, possessiveness usually starts out slow but then begins to overshadow a relationship. Relationships touched by possessiveness can be
 Suffocating, 
Binding 
and in some cases, Abusive.
 Possessiveness can lead to jealousy, which in turn, can lead to anger. Anger in an immature person or an abused victim can lead to physical outbursts and more abuse.
Possessiveness, is a strange feeling which any normal person could get upon his/her partner. It is not necessary that this happens only for in life partner relationships, but this is possible even between friends, brother or sisters. First of all , possessiveness is not a problem to be looked at with a strict face. It is just a normal feeling which primarily arises out of insecurity. Any personal who is confident and got faith on their relationship would not feel insecure. On the other hand, a lot of people think that they might lose their loved once and try to take more control.

The cause of Possessiveness -

1. Insecurity

 Insecurity - The feeling of fear whether his/her partner would leave them for   any reason is called insecurity. Everyone in this world feels insecure about something. In this case, it is their loved one's. The reason behind feeling insecure could also be reflected from the past that they had a bad relation or met an unfaithful person which made them carve their mind and mould it to have no faith on anyone else.
 Lack of confidence or faith on partner- This situation might be as a result of the action of their partner. It can also be due to self centered quality of a person or due to the effect of very low self confidence.
 Jealousy - This is often a term which is used as a substitute for possessiveness. But it is found to be true that both jealousy and possessiveness are tail tied. They dont have much difference at all. A feeling which makes a person think that their relationship is being threatened by a rival. This is very common in every human relationship.
Lack of self-confidence - The lack of feeling and strength in ones own heart can be a cause to find faults with others. Since the person is lacking confidence, faith level goes low and they start to try and take control over their partner in order to hold their relationship.
There is no believed solution to possessiveness. Since it is not a disease or disorder, it cant be removed completely. It is a feeling which needs extensive care and concentration to lower the level of possessiveness. Unless the person and his/her partner sit and talk about this openly there will be no end to it.

Some possible ways to solve this :
1. Find out the reasons to feel possessive about your partner

Can Communication resolve conflict?


Can Communication resolve conflict?

1. Off cource ,communication is a tool to understand and get understood completely through spoken & unspoken words.(that is reading through body language with our eyes, faces and bodies as as well as tone and voices). .
2. ” Peter Drucker a management guru has said 80 % of management problem is communication problem
.” —Dale Carnegie has said “There are only four ways, in which we have contact with the world. We are evaluated and classified by these four contacts: what we do, how we look, what we say, and how we say it
3.  Our communication can sometimes can be  “poor” .such communication is the cause of feuds and fights.
4. “Good” communication and the ability to manage conflict effectively  is a skill—one that all of us can learn Is called  “people skills.” 
5. Quite often, in the course of regular communication, a difference of understanding will arise.
10 the role of Perception has a critical role in our interpretation of  any given situation, has considerable influence over our reactions to the situation.
11. So falling is an agenda of conflict resolution



what to do "In a quarrel or conflict":

STOP      (Don’t panic – don’t react!)
THINK (gather information)
                           
ANALYZE (using gathered information decide how you can best empathize with this person)
                        
RESPOND (respectfully communicate your understanding of the situation and what would work for you)

i)   So Conflict can be dealt with

ii)   logically, calmly and effectively by using communication skills and reacting in a controlled, deliberate manner.

iii) Have the dialogue about the Problem Together

iv) Clarify the Issues – Focus on the Needs and Goals


v)  Understand each Other’s Perspective

vi) Break the Conflict into Small Steps, based on win win situation, do think how both of you win rather than both of you lose and only one can win.

vii)      Do Give and Take

viii)     Patch up and shake hands.


Learn How to do "HARMONIOUS WORKING RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR COWORKERS IN AN OFFICE"



Learn How to create  " HARMONIOUS WORKING RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR COWORKERS IN AN OFFICE"
How to treat your coworker:
1. Treat everyone as you'd like to be treated
2. treat your co-workers (and your boss) the same way you treat your customers
3. Don't judge a coworker by his or her peers.
4. Freely praise the coworkers if they show good results or on this achievements
5. Extend full cooperation and support
 to your coworkers
6. Try to have excellent Interpersonal relationship with them .
7. Try to have maintain a Cordial, congenial, friendly atmosphere with coworkers to achieve the desirable common goal and to extract the work from the fellow members.

8.    Exchange thoughts, ideas and work as a team with a view to realize our dream -establishment








Work Life Balance


Work Life Balance
1.  A good working definition of Work-Life Balance is:
You should have Meaningful daily Achievement and Enjoyment in each of your four life quadrants: Work, Family, Friends and Self.
2.  The best work-life balance is different for each of us because we all have different priorities and different lives
3.  There is no perfect, one-size fits all, for work life balance, you want to find ..
enjoyment does not mean happiness. It means Pride, Satisfaction, Happiness, Celebration, Love, A Sense of Well Being …all the Joys of Living.
4.  You cannot get the full value from life without BOTH Achievement and Enjoyment
5.  Enjoyment in every day life helps you avoid the Focusing on only Achievement and Poor tolerance often stems from being overworked and stressed.
6.   Find ways and means to de-stress yourself from time to time.

Perfect planning and time management keeping in mind the importance of family members ,your wife’s birthday ,child’s school functions etc,not forgetting marriage anniverseries,doing office project in time ,Is a tight rope walk.so
Get ample Social Support, of good friends and family members and steady servant or maid. Do not live life in  lonliness.Lonely people get more stressed, they experience higher blood pressure and more insomnia than those who have a strong social network.